Pedestal
by Evablue
Summary: SeanEmma. When someone like Emma looks at you through a drunken haze, as though they're trying to figure out who they hell you are, it causes this sort of ripple effect through your stomach.


_**Disclaimer: I own nothing at all. But the story. The story IS mine.**_

_**Inspiration: Slightly inspired by Snow N' Ice's (Jenna's) 'Falling Back'. You don't need to know HOW. Just know it was. Jenna, your story is a work of beautiful, written art. Keep writing, chica. This one is for you! **_

_**Note: Okay, I've reverted back to form for this. I've done my entire BtVS 'Eternal Flame' story (all fourteen chapters) in second person narrative (if its not your bag, don't read it). In fact, it jumps between points of view, second to third, third to second. So sue me. I've been watching way too much My So-Called Life. ANYWAY...suppose to be a Ficlet, but its not. One-shot. (I'm doing a lot of these. I should be working on Charming Emma Nelson).**_

Touchable: One-shot

_I hope I can find the words to say_

_Never again, no, never again_

_Cause you're a God and I am not_

_And I just thought that you would know_

_Vertical Horizon_

You make these decision all the time that don't mean shit, not when you're making them. They seem so insignificant that you only come to that conclusion in the first place because you figure, 'what the hell?'. You don't think it really matters what you do, so you do whatever.

So, you end up at this place you don't really want to be at not sure why you even got your ass off your coach in the first place. That's what happened to me. I get this call from a friend who tells me to head on over to this party on fifty-four street. And I went because that's what you do.

You don't think it'll change anything.

The house smelled the way house's do when you've got over fifty people jam packed into one space and they're all drunk. We're talking beer, sweat and musk. And the atmosphere had that suffocating feel to it, the kind that makes you feel like you're standing on a stage with twenty bright lights shining on you. Its worse than being hugged by a 400 pound wrestler after a brutal match.

"Hey, Cameron!" Some guy, hell if I knew his name, said as I entered the party. I mumbled a reply and continued on my way.

I'd been there fifteen minutes when I was already getting bored. How long could you be around the same lame people doing the same lame things before you smashed your head through a window because going to the emergency room would be more exciting?

I was just about to leave when it happened. My world changed in that way you never seem to see coming. It was a train wreck, one more messed thing to add to my messed up life.

It was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.

xXx

Sean walked through the room, pushing aside the heap of drunk morons surrounding him as he tried to head for the door. _Jesus, what made me think this would be a good idea?_ A trashed blond girl stumbled into him, spilling her drink all over the front of his shirt.

Sean jumped back, cursing as the alcohol splashed over him.

"Watch it," the drunk girl bit out, turning her face up to look at him with a contemptuous glare.

"Look, you're the one..."Sean stopped in mid-sentence as he looked, really looked, at the girl. "_Emma_?"

Only, not. The girl before him had eyeliner so thick it must have been weighing down her entire face and her hair was down and laying on her shoulders in light, fluffy curls. Sean would have sworn that just on her lips she had more make-up than he had ever seen on her entire face at one time. The clothing she was wearing was far from her typical 'I'm going to save the world' outfits she bounced around all the time. _Definitely borrowed from Manny_, Sean thought as he looked her over. The black halter top pushed her chest together to expose a generous amount of cleavage and the faded jean skirt she wore stuck in all the right places.

Even as a part of Sean was looking at Emma in utter male appreciation a larger part was deeply disturbed. Hell if he knew why, he just knew that it felt like something sacred had been violated.

"Oh, look, its Sean! Must be my lucky night!" Emma moved to go past him but Sean reached his arm out, halting her. Emma swayed a bit then steadied herself. As she spoke the alcohol on her breath was nearly overwhelming. "Hello? Trying to bypass you."

Sean laughed. He couldn't help it. "You're so trashed!"

Emma rolled her eyes and sneered. "Thanks for the newsflash. You seem as smart when I'm drunk as when I'm sober. Or maybe you're like more smart because I'm drunk so I'm completely stupider...er. Was that a complete sentence?" Emma laughed strangely, her eyes becoming slightly cross-eyed.

Sean flinched back. Emma, it seemed, was a very mean drunk. "Em, how much have you had?"

"I'm not sure." Emma looked confused. "I had some drinks, though."

No shit, Sean wanted to say. Sean grabbed Emma as she swayed again, balancing her. "Where's Chris?"

Emma shrugged. "How should I know? Why, you wanna date him? Cause, you should you know. He's a very nice boyfriend. Better than you. You? Are a jackass. Now, excuse me."

Emma shoved past, leaving a still reeling Sean in her wake.

Watching her go, Sean decided to stick around. He chalked it up to a dire need for entertainment.

xXx

See, the thing is...You have this view of somebody that sums up all the pieces that make them. This idea of who they are, what they're like. What they do or don't do. Its like this Polaroid in your mind that you pull out and match up to the person each time you come into contact with them.

Sometimes, you have someone pegged as a jackass. Because they did something shitty to you. Or someone you know. And you know that it doesn't matter what they do, they'll always be that way for you. Other times, you think someone's okay. You know, if they were in trouble you might worry and you'd probably cry at their funeral.

Rarely, you have this image, this portrait of someone, that rises above all the rest. Like the person was some kind of a God or a frickin' saint. You don't see their flaws because you don't believe they have any. Not really. But you're damn sure that if you touch them, you'll spread your disease all over them. You don't see their flaws because you're too busy noticing all of yours when you're with them.

Its a strange moment, that instant when someone falls off your pedestal and alters permanently that image you have of them in your mind. When you finally make that leap from thinking of them as some idolized, non-person to realizing they are human. Its like they took that Polaroid you had of them and cut it down the middle. Its strange because you know it will never be the same again and you're not sure you want to think of them as real, yet.

xXx

Sean wasn't sure what time it was but he was pretty sure he'd stayed at least two hours. Two freakin' hours. All of which he'd spent stalking Emma around the party like some psycho ex-boyfriend. With that thought Sean shifted his eyes back in her direction. Emma was standing near some guy whom Sean had given the name Scum Bag ten minutes ago. She teetered around on her legs, nearly completely gone now. If she had been wasted before Sean wasn't sure what she was now.

Sean watched from the corner of his eye as Scum Bag looped his arm around Emma's shoulders and began steering her in the direction of the stairs. Sean leaped off of the couch he was sitting on, moving so that he stood in front of Scum Bag and Emma.

"Can I help you with something?" Scum Bag asked. "I'm kinda busy, ya know?"

Emma leaned heavily against Scum Bag, her eyes blurring as she looked at him. "Sean?"

Sean felt the muscles in is jaw tighten. "You're going to be very busy with a bunch of trouble you don't want if you don't walk away from the girl. Now."

"Dude, whatever. Okay. Get your own trash bag. This one's mine." Scum Bag moved for the stairs again. "And I'm going to go have some private fun."

Sean's hands, clenched in fists by his side, twitched. "Not with Emma you're not."

Scum Bag rolled his eyes, sitting Emma down on the top step unceremoniously. Emma leaned against the railing, wrapping her arms around the bars to keep from sliding down.

"What is your issue, man?"

Sean pushed Scum Bag, making him smack into the table. "You are dumbass!"

Scum Bag shot him a dirty glare before flying at him, fists blazing. "You piece of shit!"

Sean easily overpowered him, slamming him onto the hard wood floor. Sean hit him and hit him and hit him. He didn't stop until he heard a soft and groggy voice.

"Is that the floor? Wow, its making funny circles with the tile. Um, I really don't feel good. I think I'm gonna be sick. "

Sean's fist stilled in the air, his head turning to look at Emma. Helpless and staring at the floor with a dazed expression. She needed his help more than Scum Bag needed to get his ass kicked. Sean got off Scum Bag, spitting on him as he did before heading in Emma's direction..

xXx

When someone like Emma looks at you through a drunken haze, as though they're trying to figure out who they hell you are, it causes this sort of ripple effect through your stomach. Like some type of acid is eating its way from the inside out. Especially if you're the type of person that's recently been more often than not looking at others through a drunken haze. Its like you want to shake her until recognition comes back.

But somehow, I don't do that.

Instead I scoop down and pick her up. Not all knight in shining bullshit, though. I Slung over my back like a sack of potatoes. Even for a girl that was probably only 20 alert she fought like a hellcat. She somehow found a burst of energy and left a damn scratch down my cheek. I nearly dropped her to the ground which would have squashed open her stupid head.

xXx

Emma mumbled incoherently the entire way to the door.. But Sean kept walking, kept moving to his destination.

"Cameron, where are you goinThe bedrooms are the other way." Jay said, gliding into step next to Sean.

Sean shot Jay a look, but kept moving to the door with the now silent Emma. "I'm getting her out of here."

Jay cocked his head to the side as he walked, taking a closer look. "Christ, is that the goodie-two shoes?" He laughed. "She's completely wrecked!" Jay grabbed Sean's arm in a tight grip, stopping him. He leering looked at Emma before saying with a smirk, "Tell me somethin, Cameron. Why do you care what happens to the bitch? Look, the party's lame! Let's ditch and head out. Drop her in a corner and let's go!"

"No." Sean shook his head, moving past him.

"No?" Jay said in Sean's wake, not quite sure he understood the word. Jay turned to say something else to Sean but he was already gone.

xXx

Sean quietly snuck into her kitchen, grabbing a glass from the cabinet and pouring Emma some water. When he came back he handed it to her, his eyes unreadable.

"Here, drink this."

Emma took a sip, making a face. "I feel like I got hit by something really..." Emma's nose scrunched up, "ouchy."

"Good. Maybe then you won't do something so incredibly stupid."

Emma put the glass down on her dresser with a hard click. "Excuse me? This coming from you? Give me a break."

"I'm not the hypocrite here, Emma."

Emma sighed. "I'm not going to do it again. I-I had a bad night, okay?"

"Why? God, Emma, what the hell where you thinking? Never mind, you weren't thinking. You were---"

"What? I'm not allowed to be stupid? Ever? Its like a rule. Perfect, prissy Princess Emma Nelson. Long may she reign."

"Emma---"

"I just didn't want to be me, okay," Emma said softly, her eyes glassing over. "I was so tired. Of everything. So, so tired. It was stupid. I totally know that."

"It was more than stupid. Do you know what that guy would have done to you if I hadn't been there?" Sean's voice went up a dozen notch in volume. "Do you!"

"Shhh," Emma said desperately, looking up at the stairs leading out of her room.

Sean took a deep breath and forced himself to calm down. "Em, you're not stupid! That guy would have..."

"Gotten me a glass of water?" Emma joked lamely while taking another sip of water.

"That's not funny, Emma."

"I know what would have happened. What he would have..." Emma trailed off and stared into her glass. "I'm thankful for what you did, Sean. I mean it"

More quietly now, some of the anger drained away, he spoke again, "Why did you do it, Emma? You're usually more..."

"Boring."

"I was going to say smart."

"You do this all the time, right? To feel better or whatever?"

"I never said I was smart."

In the still of her bedroom, following an already scattered night, Emma felt like she could confide in him. "I found Snake's will earlier today." Emma laughed hollowly. "He's planning on dying. He said he would fight and he's...planning on dying."

Not sure what else to do when Emma began to sob Sean gently pulled her into his lap and began to stroke her hair.

xXx

When you find this common ground you never had with a person its like this moment that just is more real than anything else. Like, you've found the promised land or something. You want to stay in that second forever and devour that person more than you ever have before. Its like you've found some type of secret coding, some imprint you both shared.

Emma was a mess. In more than one way. Emotionally she was scattered everywhere. Physically, she looked like she'd been hit by a New York taxi cab. Emma was tired out in each way a person could be and now she was hanging by a single string.

I pulled her closer to me and wandered if she could hear the sound of my thoughts and how they answered her own silent ones.

xXx

Sean stayed when she mumbled incoherently.

He stayed when she started to make soft crying noises that started in her throat and vibrated through her chest.

Somehow, he stayed this time when she softly whispered, "Snake has cancer," in her sleep. Dark smudges of mascara decorated the skin around her eyes and her bottom lip had a heavy rim of pink lipstick lining it. Her hair was spread across the pillow in knotted clumps that stuck to her sweaty forehead.

When his hand grazed her cheek it felt like the first time he had ever touched her.

xXx

I lied there a couple inches away, watching her. It was one of those moments after the fall, after everything gets scattered and blown to hell, where you begin putting it back together. And its not the same, you know it can't be. Not ever. But you form this new image of this person, this fallen God.

I stroked her cheek, smiling as I watched the dark glow of the moon shimmer on her form. She was the picture of imperfection in that moment.

Emma was touchable.

A/N: I had fun switching POVs in this one. But, then, it let me play with second-person narrative again (well, sorta... for the record, it wasn't purist second person and it DEFINITELY wasn't interactive) so of course I would love it. Anyway, tell me what you think.


End file.
